Shelley's Case

Art of Mom Mond- er, Tuesday

I don't feel very art-of-momish this week. 

Yesterday - Peach's first day in the young preschool class - I had the worst drop off ever (although apparently she had a great day), a crazy hectic day, followed by leaving early to take her to the doctor, arriving at the doctor at 5:48 (traffic was nuts), and then a surprisingly pleasant doctor's visit.  After about 18 months of fighting the doctor, I asked her on the way out of school, "hey, do you want to go to the doctor?" and she said, "I want to go to doctor."  And it was awesome.  She didn't fight having her weight taken (31.7 pounds - finally over the 30 pound mark!) She didn't fight having the doctor look at the spot on her skin that I was worried about.  She hopped down after her exam and started playing.  She didn't fuss about the seasonal flu nasal mist experience.  It was fabulous.  I thought, "Wow.  She's really growing up."

Bonus: we were both in bed, and asleep, by about 8:30. 

This morning, I was reminded again that yes, I have a toddler.  Waking up: crying and fussing.  Putting on potty: lots of whining.  Putting on clothes: two parent operation.  Brushing of teeth: ditto.  Drive in: much demanding of going to the zoo instead of school.  Drop off: Second worst ever. 

And what is up with this new "I want to go to store" demand that crops up every time she has to do something she doesn't like?  I don't get it. Matthew calls her his little capitalist.

Sigh. 

But we had a great weekend: we met her BFF JM (and JM's mom) at the zoo, and they were so cute, holding hands and hugging and giggling.  Little girls are so cute!  And I love that as dominant as Peach is, personality wise, she is perfectly content to follow JM's lead.  We ate at Peach's favorite place - Noodles & Co. - for macaroni and cheese and meatballs - and much fun was had. I finally found a coat (at Target!) that she will wear instead of refusing my choices with a dismissive, "I just be cold." 

Ah, well.  Hopefully the weekend will come soon.  Work is topsy turvy (down a legal assistant) and I will probably end up having to do a work road trip on Saturday, but I'll look forward to the zoo on Sunday.  

Art of Mom Monday

Crazy, crazy day.*  Twenty minutes from daycare/Matthew's work, Peach announces, "I have to go potty."  She's been so perfect on the commutes that I gave up putting a diaper on her for the trips to/from work (even with commute traffic!) a while back.  So we diverted to my office (closer: I drop them off and then backtrack) and she went there - disaster averted.  Whew. 

A few weeks back, I just gave up on putting Peach to bed in her room in her big girl bed.  I'd had an easy to put down baby for a long time, then when night terrors started, it got a lot more complicated.  Finally, bedtime become another toddler battleground.  After Matthew's surgery, I didn't have the energy.  She'd been waking up at 3 AM and ending up in our bed, anyway, so I figured, let's skip the battle and the nightly drama and just let her go to bed with us.  (If Supernanny has a problem with it, she can kiss my hardcore commuting, working mother ass.)

And it worked.  Suddenly there was no nighttime drama (other than choosing books and the occasional, hilarious talking in her sleep - last night it was "My bunny!").   As a side bonus, Peach is potty trained, better rested, and a lot easier to be around.  The only downside (other than the occasional kick to Mama's kidneys) was that now I was competing for covers with two people instead of one.  Yesterday we solved that issue by purchasing a king sized comforter/duvet for our queen sized bed, and it was awesome - almost like our bed had grown. Loved it.  

So you can imagine, then, my surprise when tonight she announced she wanted to go to bed in her big girl bed.  And climbed into it, demanded a few stuffed animals, her soymilk - and then promptly went to sleep....!  I knew sleeping with mom and dad was going to be self limiting and just tonight told my mother on the phone that as independent as Peach is, I didn't expect it to last long. But seriously?  45 minutes after I said it? 

Well.  I'm not taking back the king sized comforter.  I love that thing.

*I wish I could talk about work on my blog.  My work is nuts: I represent victims of sex abuse, and occasionally it gets so crazy it's surreal.  So do some of the clients.  But alas, I can't talk about it. 

Peach in a tutu

Peach picked her outfit this morning (well, she does every morning - or at least nitpicks what I choose), and was adamant about the tutu - but then decided at the last minute not to wear it to school (we did a quick car change).  Still, I enjoyed it while it lasted!

How can someone so young sing words so sad?

Since Peach's Duran Duran obsession started, I've been wildly (ha) working on trying to get her tastes diversified. (Oh, hell, that's not true.  Remember my labor and delivery playlist?  I've been thinking about this for a while - I even bought all the posters for the season of the opera I attended when I was pregnant.)  I created a driving playlist with a bunch of music that I thought she would like, and have been keeping tabs on whether she listens quietly, dances, demands "DIFFERENT SONG!" or "NO SONGS!"

This evening's tally was pretty typical. She prefers male voices to female, and regular rhythms to fancier beats.  She likes a good base line and synthesizers.  (She really dug Wagner when she was still a fetus, for that matter.)

The verdicts:

"Let Me Go" by Cake. No.

"Leaving Las Vegas" by Sheryl Crow: Yes. Which is funny, because I don't even like this song much.

"Wednesday" by Tori Amos: Yes, for about 2 minutes.

"She's in Parties" by Bauhaus: Yes, for about 3 minutes.

"Lord Protect My Child" by Susan Tedeschi: Surprisingly yes.

"Work Hard" by Depeche Mode: Yes.

"Private Idaho" by B-52s: Yes, but only for the Yoko Ono-like sounds.

"Graceland" by Paul Simon: (this will break her father's heart) No.

"General Joy" by Tori Amos: No.

"Long Way Around" by Dixie Chicks: No.

"Cinderella Undercover" by Boingo: No.

"Fire Woman" by the Cult: She loves this song.

"Crucify" by Tori Amos: No.

"Sheila Take a Bow" by the Smiths: Yes.

"Rusholme Ruffians" by the Smiths: No. 

"Hello Again" by The Cars: No.

"Sweet the Sting" by Tori Amos: Emphatic no.

"Nice Work if You Can Get It" by Sting: Yes.

"Sea of Heartbreak" by Roseanne Cash: No. 

"You Might Think" by The Cars: Yes.

"Never There" by Cake: 30 seconds, then "different song, please."

"Cornflake Girl" by Tori Amos: very emphatic no.

"Channel Z" by B-52s: No.

"Missionary Man" by Eurythmics: No.

(I don't know how Shuffle managed to pick all the Tori Amos on the playlist, but somehow, it did. It definitely skewed 80s.)

Randomness

• Peach sings in the shower. I really dig this.
• She also does "eskimo kisses."
• Opposing counsel should really, really always send RFPs in doc form to opposing counsel.  It's the kind thing to do.
• [Story redacted at Matthew's request. It was the best one of the whole list, too.]
• I am doing NaNoWriMo this month, not because I think I can actually crank out 50,000 words in a month with a toddler, but because my goal is to write at least some words every day -- thereby actually carving out time for myself in each day.  So far, so good.  I have less than 2,000 words, but I feel saner already.  Most of those were written Sunday morning before Peach woke up - at 7 AM.
• I am too tired to write tonight, so I'm playing Lexulous against the computer.  Lately, I've been going to bed between 8-9 and waking up around 5.  This leaves me about an hour where I'm not driving, minding the Peach, doing laundry, working, or parallel parking.  (I parallel park a lot.)  
• Hm. I don't think I've been asked back to participate in the work-life balance panel this year.

Two things about my kid

1.  Today we had an almost completely accident free day (one not-quite-to-potty-in-time morning incident).  All day at daycare: no accidents.  Wearing big girl underwear.  Yes!!! 

2.  This was a real conversation about ten minutes ago. 

Shelley: Peach, don't touch that. It's dirty.  

Peach: Well, wash it, Mommy.  

Matthew: [Cracking up] 

My wild girl

My kid loves Duran Duran, so much so that I'm expecting the next thing out of her mouth to be why Simon LeBon is so much cuter than John Taylor.

(OK, maybe not quite that much.  But close.)

Take this exchange.  The stage: the car, on the way home after a long day of work/daycare.  I had been chatting with my brother via bluetooth, with my iphone connected to the stereo, when I turned the engine over after getting gas.  This resulted in a weird error where the music started playing in the bluetooth adapter.

Shelley: "Can you hear that?"

Shelley's Brother: "What?" 

S: "The Duran Duran?" 

SB, singing: "'Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand...'"

S: "No, it was the 'Wild Boys.'" 

SB, still singing: "'Wild Boys! Wild Boys! Wild Boys!"

I called him back, fixing the sound bug, and we chatted for another 20 minutes or so.  The music came back on, and a few more songs played.  Then, from the back of the car:

Peach: "More Wild Boys, please." 

S: "What did you say?"

Peach, emphatically: "More Wild Boys, PLEASE."

And since then, that is the only song she wants to hear.  I have listened to "The Wild Boys" more in the last week than I did in all of 1984.  

God help me: for diversity, I may have to introduce her to Wild Boys remixes.

New kind of normalcy

Since Matthew's mid-September surgery, we're getting back to a sort of normalcy.  The hospital bed is gone from the house.  The shower chair isn't used in the shower, but has been converted to a special place for Peach to sit when brushing her teeth.  My sister in law, who came here to help out for a week, returned to Nevada today.  (Unfortunately, Peach never warmed to her - perhaps it was cultural, or her accent, I don't know. It would have been a lot easier on me if she had, but ah, well.  It was nice having Elina visiting, in any case.) 

A Wednesday night trip to urgent care revealed that the feeling like I'd been swallowing ground glass was, in fact, an infection, and after five days on Zithromax, I am all better.  I'd had that thing for weeks, and it had seriously run me down. I actually feel human today!

Matthew still limps, still has a lot of pain, and still has to resolve the upper back issues. (Recap: he had surgery on his upper back in January, a lengthy recovery, then back to work.  He fell in July, and we had to wait for federal comp to approve the surgery on the lower back he had in September.  Unfortunately, the fall made the upper back situation much worse - we will hopefully find out how much worse this week.) 

But we're a unit again.  After months of being the primary (and often only) caregiver, it's so wonderful to hear Peach ask for Daddy to read stories, Daddy to hold her, Daddy to snuggle. (Not just because it's a break for me, but because there was a long period of time when she was quite distant from Matthew. That made my heart ache.)  

Tonight we all hung out in our living room.  I read a novel, Eden bounced and danced to the "country chick" playlist I was listening to, and Matthew tweaked the media computer.  We ate dinner, quietly at home.  It was exactly the sort of ordinary evening that we haven't had in so very long - it was lovely.  I could use a lot more evenings like this one!

Close encounters with reality TV

Friday morning, my sister-in-law and Peach and I set out to Roloff Farms, home of Little People, Big World.  (It's located about 15 minutes from my house.)  S-I-L Elina is a huge fan of the show, and I am a closet huge fan of the show... and Peach is at the perfect age for her first trip to a pumpkin patch!  It was perfect. 

We arrived two minutes before 10, opening time.  There was already a line of cars! 

 

(Parking was $2.  I don't know why this is important, but I thought I'd throw it out there.)

While we were waiting in the car line, family members cruised by in Mom Amy's minivan (Amy was riding and waved at the guy selling the parking tickets to us). 

We probably spent ten, fifteen minutes in the car line before things started moving.  And once we got to the top of this hill, we turned right into the parking lot.  And there it all was, just like the TV show!  Elaborate home, catapult, the swimming pool, the soccer field, volleyball court, etc.  It's all there. 

TLC was there filming, and Dad Matt Roloff was in front letting people take pictures with him.  While Elina and Peach were posing with him, Peach decided to melt down and have a little mini-tantrum.  My best shot?

You can see Peach's arm, at least!

We figured out how to buy tickets to the two tours (they added a second, scenic tour this year).  Tickets for both tours: $10 per person.

The scenic tour was first.  Our tractor driver?  Son Jeremy.  Our tour guide?  Brittany.  Not bad!  Finn Elina got points for being the person in our tour who came the furthest.  

Peach loved the tractor ride, and keeps talking about it.

 

(Here she is saying, "I ride tractor, too!")  

After the scenic tour, I took Elina's picture with Jeremy - it turned out beautifully, and I hope she reads this and emails me it so I can post it!  - then we found the port-a-potties (oh, SO much fun to attempt a diaper change in one of those)! and got in line for the "western town" tour. 

 

(I owe my kid's great behavior during much of this experience to tic-tacs, gummi bears, and raisins.) 

I have no idea who the driver or tour guide were for these, but the highlight was stopping at the western town and meeting Pop and Honey, Matt Roloff's parents.  They were super, super sweet, and posed for a picture with Elina (which is alas, on Elina's camera, too).

At this point, we'd been there about an hour and a half, and the place was crammed with people.  Tour groups from assisted living facilities, Kindercare classes, and it was crazy.  We skipped the petting zoo and pony rides and headed into the pumpkin patch. 

Peach went for the biggest ones she could find, until I started asking her to find small pumpkins (there were no wagons free to use - all taken)! 

 

(But even small pumpkins can be kind of heavy!) 

And gourds are kind of crazy looking!

In any event, I walked away with three pumpkins (total price: $9), a pack of gummy worms ($3) and a Diet Pepsi ($2), a very exhausted toddler, and a happy sister in law.  And it was fun.  The crowds were the worst part: I don't like crowds, anyway, but the fawning touristy types were obnoxious.  Heavily made up women pushing toddlers out of the way to get their pictures taken with the family?  That is so not cool.  Also, it was kind of sad - most of the people there were so busy snapping photos of the Roloff family that they weren't really into it as the experience for their kid that it ought to have been.  (At some point I realized I was the only person taking pictures of my own family during the tractor tours, instead of members of the Roloff family!)

Overall, I had a great time.  I would have enjoyed going to any pumpkin patch with Peach, but the reality show overlay made it thoroughly fun.  Also, I can't say I would have been all that excited to wait in lines to go on tractor rides of just any farmer's property (twice), which was clearly the highlight for Peach.  It was win-win.

Tips: get there as early as you can, and do what we did and go on Friday, instead of a weekend day.  (The Farm is open Friday-Sundays in October.)  Bring your own food and water and snacks for the kids. Avoid the women with spray-on tans and Kate Gosselin hairstyles. 

Mommy's little Calvinist

This morning I dropped Peach off at daycare.  She was the first kid on her side of the room, and she was being pretty clingy.  I read a book to her on a little couch, then told her I had to leave and go to work.  She tried to get me another book, but I said, "No, I really have to go to work, Peach.  I'm sorry." 

Her teacher said, "Do you want me to read you a book?"  and Peach said, "Yeah."  (A newer development and annoying, the "yeah.")

She then turned to me and, when I went to give her a hug, pushed me away.  "Go work, Mama!" she said.  "Go work."  

(FWIW, she did run up and give me a hug as I was leaving!) 

Catching up with her

In the beginning, it was easy to get cute pictures of Peach - newborns don't dodge.  Now, though?  I am lucky if I get her in the frame.

Take last weekend's playground excursion:

Finally one with her face!

Quandry

Half the time I think I am hovering over Peach too much and helping too much.  The rest of the time, I wonder things like, "Is it wrong to let her eat Bath and Bodyworks foaming soap?"

(FYI, I did hover and help her figure out how to swish and spit, and there were no ill effects.)

Fingers crossed

For a night when Eden sleeps all night. In her own bed. And doesn't have night terrors every couple of hours.

I miss sleeping.

No Birdie, no birdie!

Does it make me a bad mother that I found Peach's terror at the Red Robin bird hilarious?  Seriously, she was trying to occupy the same place and time I was, clawing at my neck and screaming while the big red bird waved at her, and I was trying so hard not to laugh the whole time.  I mean, that bird is creepy.  The person who invented giant animal suits was seriously demented.  Employers who force minimum wage employees into those suits?  IIED, right there. And vicarious liability for the corporation. 

She wouldn't drink her milk after that, because there was a picture of the bird on the cup.

A shout out to my beautiful sis, who has a birthday today! We called to sing to her while all of us were in the car, but had to leave a message.  Long after we were done, Peach was in her seat, rocking out and singing, "Happy-happy-happy-oooh-oooh-oooh."  And Sar?  Your package should get there, um, tomorrow. 

Bedtime reading

Apologies for quality - I'm blogging via phone in the nursery.

The shame, the shame

Tonight, at Costco, I succumbed to a parenting rite of passage: baby's first Disney movie. Damn it. But she saw the cover of the Aristocats and gleefully squealed, "kitties!" so really, what could I do?

More canine angst and catching up

Matthew and I watched Juno this evening.  It was pretty much what the critics said: fun, sassy, a little too smart, but an overall cute film.  Loved the music.  The best part was having Peach hang out with us on the couch wrapped up in a blanket - she hadn't been quite ready to go to bed.  She snuggled and flopped around until she was so tired she couldn't stay awake (but couldn't get comfortable). 

Afterward the movie, the couch was covered with popcorn bits.  This never would have happened with Norris (or Nika) around.  In fact, it's been 15 years since I've had to pick up food spillage - the house was thoroughly cleaned Thursday, and I've already done a massive vacuum operation in the kitchen.  (I've decided my popcorn technique probably needs work - there are nibblers, and then there are those of us who shove handfuls into their faces.)

Tomorrow morning we had made plans to drive a goodly distance into Washington to look at some beautiful red Australian Cattle Dogs.  We had an ACD before (it was our border collie's companion dog - seriously, we got her a dog of her own) and like the breed.  Matthew was willing to go along with me on this. I miss having a dog (not since 1994 have we gone so long without).  I would feel safer with a dog.  I really want a dog I can take with me to the office and let Peach climb all over. I want a jogging partner and a cheerleader.

But. 

My lifestyle doesn't fit a dog right now - not even a laid back dog (and I'm not fond of laid back breeds, anyway).  It would be pure selfishness.  And about selfishness, it has been kind of nice to not have to pick up land mines in the yard - or worry about getting home at a reasonable hour, or think about traveling without paying $25/day for a kennel.  Peach and I have taken to spending time in the garden, and I don't have to worry about her stepping in dog poo.  It is a lot quieter and calmer, and as much as I loved Norris, he only added to my stress level. 

I left a voicemail message for the kind woman who owns the cattle dogs;  I feel like a schmuck because I was happy I left a voicemail and didn't have to make excuses in real time.  I can't decide if I feel like I'm missing the opportunity of a lifetime, or if I just dodged a bullet.

***

I would like to say there were positive counterpoints to the dog angst, but it was not a fun-filled day.  Matthew and I spent hours matching Explanation of Benefits sheets with medical bills - which for the three of us over the last year, has been somewhat crazy. Our money situation has been more than a little tight, so there is a lot of catching up to do, especially now with Matthew's surgery-related bills.  I said something to him about how good our medical insurance is - and sadly, it IS good insurance, even though it means we pay huge premiums and still get stiffed with ever-increasing portions of the bills - and he laughed.  Better than the alternative, I guess. 

Although now that I think about it?  It was kind of fun working on the medical bills with Matthew, because paying medical bills  for the employees of the federal agency he works for - he is the medical program manager - is a big part of his job.  It was like an art form.  He started talking about diagnosis and billing codes and how this number didn't match this line item and my jaw about hit the floor.  I mean, I pick up this guy's socks most of the time, but he has an amazing eye for detail on these bills.  He found all sorts of mistakes (in our favor) and started firing off letters.  It was cool. 

***

The highlight of the day may have been the Costco trip, now a regular part of the weekend, because where else can you get two gallons of whole milk for $3.69?  Although is it just me, or did Costco just raise prices?  Bananas (I hate them, but they are a staple in the house) were 99 cents last week, and today were $1.29 for three pounds.    We now have TP, a pork roast, sliced apples, grapefruit, the bananas, Diet Dr. Pepper, 100-calorie snack packs, tuna, egg substitute, and frozen strawberries. I used a coupon for 50 free 4x6 prints, which seemed impressive until I realized that comes out to $6.50.  The highlight of the trip may have been when Peach and I tried on frames in the optical section - she really dug the Coach frames on herself.

**

Speaking of Peach, she bit someone at school on Friday.  We haven't been told the circumstances or which kid was the target.  In the absence of contrary data, we have decided that she did it in self defense and/or that it was a justified biting.  (More seriously, she was fortunately caught in situ and corrected - apparently, she was very chastened.) 

**

I would like to think that tomorrow will be a super-fun day.  Maybe it will, who knows?  Although it looks like I will be studying the evidence code and Matthew will be writing work-related letters...so perhaps not. 

Check and mate

• Wake up late?  Check.
• Look like idiot in court?  Check. 
• Set next court date for my birthday?  Check.
• Give pep talks to clients?  Check.
• Have to stop by pharmacy twice to get Matthew's prescription? Check.
• Explain statute of limitations and why there is no case to pursue to prospective client?  Check.
• Park on seventh floor of parking garage and wait forever for elevator?  Check. 
• Gouge hunk of flesh from finger with staple?  Check. 
• Stop at Burgerville to get kid smoothie for long commute home?  Check. 
• Eat dinner cooked by husband?  Check.
• Get kid to eat asparagus for first time?  Check! (OK, with ketchup)
• Realize kid is almost big enough to sit at the dinner table unaided (and, in fact, does do so through dinner, albeit with some gymnastic moves thrown in for good measure)?  Check THIS out:

And that's the gratuitous sports bottle of milk - she still loves milk above all drinks, except maybe Diet 7 Up. But I still can't believe that I have a kid this big.  Sure, Matthew is 6'2, but the tallest woman my family has produced to date is, I think, my sister - at 5'4. As soon as I can find the yardstick or the tape measure, I'm going to have to figure out how tall she is.

Hallmark Moments

From Peach's daycare teachers:

The cover:

And inside:

Objet trouvé

"Pink Canvas No. 1" by Peach Mactyre, in found stuffed bear and tempera, celebrates the paradox of humanity by juxtaposing the permanence of a synthetic-fiber bear with the transient water-based paint.