Shelley's Case

Not like the others

Every time I'm at some law school alumni function and someone asks me what I do (represent victims of sex abuse/rape/child molestation in civil cases) people pause and say, "Oh, wow.  I am so glad you do that because I couldn't."   Or they make a face, or they do both. This always annoys me, because what they invariably do - family law or criminal defense or environmental regulatory something or other - would make me want to poke my eyes out with sticks. 

Because I'm a civil litigator. I think in terms of motions to dismiss and summary judgments and the discovery avalanche that goes with any civil case.  It's just that my subject matter is a lot more, well, lurid than most other stuff that gets litigated.  And I can't talk about my cases in polite company (which, fortunately, I don't spend much time in) or in front of my toddler (where I do spend a lot of time).  Still, what I talk about at work all day, every day, is pretty nasty stuff.  I just...forget that sometimes.  

Case in point?  I was asked my favorite hat movie while hat shopping.  The first thing that popped into my head was M, because of the great men's hats.  I started to explain the film - directed by Fritz Lang, stars Peter Lorre, fabulous film...about a child murderer/pedophile being pursued by a group of beggars and the cops. I went on and on until I realized what I was talking about and I stopped.  (The other person's favorite hat movie?  The original Thomas Crowne movie.  I felt about three inches tall for imposing my weird world on her, even briefly.)

But it really is a great film.  Heck, come on over, and we can watch it together - I have a special anniversary DVD version.  We'll just have to wait 'til after Peach has gone to bed.

More canine angst and catching up

Matthew and I watched Juno this evening.  It was pretty much what the critics said: fun, sassy, a little too smart, but an overall cute film.  Loved the music.  The best part was having Peach hang out with us on the couch wrapped up in a blanket - she hadn't been quite ready to go to bed.  She snuggled and flopped around until she was so tired she couldn't stay awake (but couldn't get comfortable). 

Afterward the movie, the couch was covered with popcorn bits.  This never would have happened with Norris (or Nika) around.  In fact, it's been 15 years since I've had to pick up food spillage - the house was thoroughly cleaned Thursday, and I've already done a massive vacuum operation in the kitchen.  (I've decided my popcorn technique probably needs work - there are nibblers, and then there are those of us who shove handfuls into their faces.)

Tomorrow morning we had made plans to drive a goodly distance into Washington to look at some beautiful red Australian Cattle Dogs.  We had an ACD before (it was our border collie's companion dog - seriously, we got her a dog of her own) and like the breed.  Matthew was willing to go along with me on this. I miss having a dog (not since 1994 have we gone so long without).  I would feel safer with a dog.  I really want a dog I can take with me to the office and let Peach climb all over. I want a jogging partner and a cheerleader.

But. 

My lifestyle doesn't fit a dog right now - not even a laid back dog (and I'm not fond of laid back breeds, anyway).  It would be pure selfishness.  And about selfishness, it has been kind of nice to not have to pick up land mines in the yard - or worry about getting home at a reasonable hour, or think about traveling without paying $25/day for a kennel.  Peach and I have taken to spending time in the garden, and I don't have to worry about her stepping in dog poo.  It is a lot quieter and calmer, and as much as I loved Norris, he only added to my stress level. 

I left a voicemail message for the kind woman who owns the cattle dogs;  I feel like a schmuck because I was happy I left a voicemail and didn't have to make excuses in real time.  I can't decide if I feel like I'm missing the opportunity of a lifetime, or if I just dodged a bullet.

***

I would like to say there were positive counterpoints to the dog angst, but it was not a fun-filled day.  Matthew and I spent hours matching Explanation of Benefits sheets with medical bills - which for the three of us over the last year, has been somewhat crazy. Our money situation has been more than a little tight, so there is a lot of catching up to do, especially now with Matthew's surgery-related bills.  I said something to him about how good our medical insurance is - and sadly, it IS good insurance, even though it means we pay huge premiums and still get stiffed with ever-increasing portions of the bills - and he laughed.  Better than the alternative, I guess. 

Although now that I think about it?  It was kind of fun working on the medical bills with Matthew, because paying medical bills  for the employees of the federal agency he works for - he is the medical program manager - is a big part of his job.  It was like an art form.  He started talking about diagnosis and billing codes and how this number didn't match this line item and my jaw about hit the floor.  I mean, I pick up this guy's socks most of the time, but he has an amazing eye for detail on these bills.  He found all sorts of mistakes (in our favor) and started firing off letters.  It was cool. 

***

The highlight of the day may have been the Costco trip, now a regular part of the weekend, because where else can you get two gallons of whole milk for $3.69?  Although is it just me, or did Costco just raise prices?  Bananas (I hate them, but they are a staple in the house) were 99 cents last week, and today were $1.29 for three pounds.    We now have TP, a pork roast, sliced apples, grapefruit, the bananas, Diet Dr. Pepper, 100-calorie snack packs, tuna, egg substitute, and frozen strawberries. I used a coupon for 50 free 4x6 prints, which seemed impressive until I realized that comes out to $6.50.  The highlight of the trip may have been when Peach and I tried on frames in the optical section - she really dug the Coach frames on herself.

**

Speaking of Peach, she bit someone at school on Friday.  We haven't been told the circumstances or which kid was the target.  In the absence of contrary data, we have decided that she did it in self defense and/or that it was a justified biting.  (More seriously, she was fortunately caught in situ and corrected - apparently, she was very chastened.) 

**

I would like to think that tomorrow will be a super-fun day.  Maybe it will, who knows?  Although it looks like I will be studying the evidence code and Matthew will be writing work-related letters...so perhaps not. 

Reviews

There probably won't be any opera reviews this season -- I may try to get to Aida in the spring, but I didn't subscribe.  One of the reasons I love opera is the connection with the historical, and I'm put off with the number of avant-garde (or would be) productions. Also, there are no more opening Saturdays, just opening Fridays.  Ugh. 

I'm so opinionated, though, I couldn't help myself but review other things in my life, so here's a smattering of my recent diversions. 

Wives and Daughters (DVD).  I enjoyed North and South (the book) and bought Wives and Daughters (the book) in the hopes I'd get around to reading it.  I didn't, but I also had the DVD set, so over the course of a couple of nights, when I was feeding Eden, I watched all 300 minutes.   

There's no unifying theme to it, say like Pride and Prejudice, but it has a similar classic chick lit appeal.  In a nutshell, a young woman  gets an evil stepmother and a scheming but charming stepsister, and there are love interests and secrets and missteps along the way.  It's Elizabeth Gaskell, which means it's on the syrupy side (none of the biting social commentary of Austen - Gaskell is kinder and gentler), but for all that, I enjoyed it.  Eden seemed to.   A

How Doctors Think.  I've been wanting to read this for months, ever since I heard an interview with the author on some NPR show (Fresh Air, maybe) and I read the first chapter online.  I heartily recommend it to anyone who, like me, is spending a god-awful amount of time with specialists and having dozens of tests performed.  It's somewhat chilling -- I didn't really want to know just how often radiologists screw up -- but very practical.  For example, "I'd like to see X sooner -- maybe in two weeks instead of four weeks," is pediatrician talk for, "I'm quite concerned about your child, but am using soothing and neutral language so you don't get alarmed."   (And now I'm not annoyed that the doctor doesn't want to see Eden very much -- the first month she was followed closely, but now we just go in every couple of months, like normal.  It had bothered me, but no more!)   A-

Intervention.  I watched this show on A&E yesterday.  I don't go in for reality
TV (other than "Who Wants to be a Superhero" - at least the first run), but it was on and I was interested.  I watched an episode with a narcotics drug user and an episode featuring a woman with a severe eating disorder.  The narcotics boy was sad and predictable.  The eating disorder girl bugged the hell out of me -- whiny and insecure and bitchy.  I couldn't stand to watch it to the end of the episode -- hopefully someone put her on an SSRI.  C+

Das Leben Der Anderen.  I'd been wanting to see this since it first came to Portland, but life interfered.  Finally out on DVD, Matthew and I got it through Netflix.  It was fascinating for a number of reasons - for one, I really enjoyed seeing Matthew go down memory lane (his father was Army Intelligence in W. Germany and they lived there during the 70s).  Second, the similarities of the Stasi then to the American intelligence complex today - well, it was impossible not to draw the comparison.  Third, it's simply a damn good film.  Fourth, I studied German for five years, and enjoy any opportunity to listen to it spoken. 

And finally, it was the most upbeat German drama I have ever seen.  Only two suicides! Das Happy-End, indeed.  A

The Blighted Cliffs: Book One of the Reluctant Adventures of Lt. Martin Jerrold.   I'm usually pretty skeptical of age of sail naval fiction.  For one, I'm a detail freak when it comes to both historical fiction and the age of sail, and an error or two will ruin a book.  Also, I'm familiar with the lives of "real" naval heroes of the era, and can't stand it when events in those lives are blatantly ripped off and called fiction.  My experience has usually been that if the details are right, the novel is dry and dull, or if the writing is good, the details are spotty.  I don't bother most of the time. 

This series -- written by someone younger than I, which I found disconcerting but cool --  was different.  For one, there's humor.  For another, the hero is a scapegrace.  There are some weaknesses -- I felt the author tried too hard with some of the humor (a bit too Fry and Laurie), the female characters were  two-dimensional, and I wasn't entirely happy with the way the hero interacted with those female characters.  But the story was compelling and historically accurate, and most of the characters were intriguing.  I'm hoping the weaknesses are resolved in later books.  B+

Eureka.  Matthew and I have been following Eureka from the beginning, but it's declined this past season.  Our take is that the show went from quirky to grand far too quickly, and once a show has gone there, well, there's no going back. The same two scientists work on whatever random problem appears, in every episode, while good ol' Sheriff Carter (with his 111 IQ) always suggests some folksy remedy that the two brilliant scientists somehow managed to overlook, but is always the key to the problem.  B-

House.  The first episode of the season was lame.  I can't believe I'm dissing a House episode, but there it is. Who cares if he "needs" his team or not?   I'm not sure why the writers keep belaboring this issue, but just get them back ASAP. (Last season's opener completely dispensed with the previous finale with little to no denouement - annoying at the time, but this time it was like watching that eating disorder girl on A&E.)  C 

Scrubs.  Matthew and I have recently watched the first two seasons.  Entertaining, quirky, but am I the only person in the world who doesn't like Zach Braff?  The guy bugs me. We watch it for the secondary characters. B+ 

Just call me Mrs. Smith

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Thanks go out to aLs!